Beyond Blessed

I'm just laying down in my bed at 2am just pondering about my life and my fellow peers around me.  Recently ive been really blessed to have people around me that are genuinely kind and have really encouraged me to become a better person.  It's been really nice to actually see a sudden change in 2 of my closest friends who are really the ones being a better influence in my life than I am to them.  It's truly encouraging the change they went through and I believe that they'll continue to walk on this right path.  Also, Ive also been blessed through other various people's kindness which has benefitted me greatly and I cannot help but smile when I think about them.
It's weird though that things are going really well for me even though I'm not even close of being on track in life.  The sermon from Sunday's service, yes I actually went to church and listened, made me realize that it is very possible that I could be benefiting from someone else's prayers or faith. This simply makes me realize how blessed I am to have family members constantly praying for me and showing me love.  
I feel like what's going on is that I should be learning through my blessings and not through punishments because only blessings have been coming up this whole senior year.  That humble appreciation I eventually want to be at may be the key to my path of getting a my life back together as a Christian and as a regular teenager overall.  

Almost Over

     There is not much to say except that it's almost over.  I have two more days of my last, first semester of high school.  I have so much to study still until first period it's ridiculous.  However, although I am stressed, I simply guilt trip myself as my motivation.

     This guilt trip is always telling myself that I am really blessed with a legitimate education compared to millions of other people in this world.  So yes, that is my motivation to take advantage and study hard.  Maybe whoever is reading this can use it too.

The Complexity of Forgiveness

     Throughout my childhood, close family members hurt me in ways that made me into a stronger person.  Yet, although what happened did not hurt me years after the incidents, it took me until very recently to fully forgive them in my heart.  During my current high school career, certain peers have done actions that have made me cringe in disgust or simply really agitate me.  I looked back into how long it took me to truly forgive people in my heart who did such bad things and realized no matter what the situation, it is always right to forgive (Matthew 6:14-15).  I now always truly forgive others for what they did in my heart, but what does the act of forgiving actually involve?

     I believe forgiving invovles one genuinely using their heart.  Going with this, does that mean one should treat another who did such a bad deed the exact same way as they previously treated them?  Of course it depends on the situation but I would generally say no that question.  If someone really cared about a person, they would want them to truly change for the better.

     I feel like a lot of people in this world make an effort to be nice to their friends but when it comes to helping them shape their character for the better, people don't seem to care as much.  I think its really important how people view the concept of forgiveness and how signficant it is that a person changes for the better after making a big mistake.  I hope that I and others can put a lot more effort into changing people for the better and truly caring for them after they make a mistake instead of just simply acting kind to be a nice person.  I understand it is important for people to be kind when regarding forgiveness, but I'm just stating that it's also extremely signficant that truly caring for others to change in a positive manner is absolutely essential.  
         

My Happiness

     Pretty much everyday since sophomore year I have been genuinely happy and could not stay sad for long periods of time whatsoever.  Obviously, I'm really blessed with a great education, supporting parents and family members, great friends, and a great church with Godly people I can rely on.  So in a sense, why shouldn't I be happy?

     I think that's what keeps me the way I am everyday.  Why should I be sad when I have the option to be happy?  I understand the emotions are not completely controllable but I personally feel that staying depressed is useless and should never happen unless something extremely traumatic happens in one's life.  In my childhood I did go through family issues and what not just like millions of other kids, but I just still managed to stay joyful all the time.  I still question to this day though, why am I so dang happy?  I understand I live with the attitude of "why shouldn't I be happy?".  However, I don't think this attitude itself is what keeps me completely together.

     I realized after awhile that it simply is my faith.  My faith in God as a Christian.  I definetely am not the example of a true Christian and feel shameful sometimes publicly calling myself one due to the way I act and speak to others.  I still truly believe though and it's just what keeps me going.  I'm just too thankful for what God has provided me and I just end up counting my blessings whenever I feel a hint of sadness in my heart.  I know I'm not a good example as a person overall but I am happy and content in life due to my faith.  I have been straying away from God recently but just writing this blog gave me a change in heart to seek him more and more.  Hopefully if you're reading and this you ever feel down, maybe counting your blessings or seeking to become stronger as a Christian or become a Christian helps.